Expectations

Expectations by Molly Brant

The final days before a mission trip are some of the most surreal ones you will ever experience. Since this Cambodia trip was my first time out of the country, my first time doing mission work, and even my first time flying, I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I knew that I was excited to visit and learn about another country and its culture. I knew I was anxious about getting all of the details, passport/documentation, and finances aligned. I knew that I was constantly doubting my availability, my readiness, and my qualifications for this trip. I knew I was scared about the language barriers and airport procedures and cultural differences. But I also knew that God had called me and that I had very clearly heard His voice telling me that I would go to Cambodia if I would let Him take me there.

About a month before the start date of my trip, I had a friend ask me what my expectations for the trip were. This particular friend is well-versed in travel, missions, and global studies. It was a question I wasn’t prepared for, didn’t understand the depth of, and didn’t know how to answer. Naturally, I told her I didn’t have any expectations. How wrong I was! This week in Cambodia has been a lot of things. It’s been fun, it’s been adventurous, and it’s been an experience I won’t soon forget. It’s crazy to see how many different emotions and short seasons one can fit into an 8-day period. There have been moments where my team and I have had the time of our lives; laughing, singing songs, and making memories. There have been moments filled with the presence of the Holy Spirit. These are the moments of praise and worship, of rest, and of spending time with Him and His people. There have also been moments that are raw, painful, and heart wrenching. I can’t begin to describe to you the horrors and hardships that I witnessed first hand during these particular moments. It’s one thing to sit comfortably at home in your climate controlled rooms and hear about the atrocities happening overseas, (extreme poverty, homeless and orphan crises, human trafficking, etc.) but it’s another thing entirely to witness it firsthand. There’s something about going where the Lord has called you to go, and seeing with your own eyes the injustices going on in the world that lights a fire within you that cannot be contained. There’s something about it that allows God to break your heart for His people in ways that it’s never been broken before. That’s the kind of experience that motivates people to do something with the knowledge they have about what is going on.

I’m going to be honest. This trip seemed very inactive. It seemed like we weren’t DOING a lot, and that made me uneasy. It seemed like our time here put such a tiny dent in the problem. I inadvertently expected to be able to bring visible change and to make an obvious difference, and I didn’t even realize I expected that until I got to Cambodia and it didn’t happen. Throughout this week, the Lord has been teaching me so much and one of the things he’s shown me is that you need to be intentional about your expectations. I thought I had no expectations for this mission trip, but in reality, I did have expectations and they were very unrealistic. I set myself up for disappointment, but through prayer and spending time with the Holy Spirit, I was able to come to a place of being okay with what we DID do in Cambodia. As a team, we stood on foreign soil and proclaimed the name of Jesus. We prayed and plead the blood of Jesus over a broken nation. We spent time with the locals, ministering to them by words, by prayers, by simple smiles and hellos. We partnered with several ministries and local organizations and did some work alongside them, although most of our time with the NGOs was simply spent observing and learning about them (and since I am called to return to Cambodia, the Lord has shown me that those learning opportunities are exactly what I needed out of this trip). We spent time with the little children of Cambodia, all of whom were at risk for trafficking, many of whom were homeless and severely neglected. We prayed for and encouraged one another and built relationships we won’t forget. I came to a place of knowing that we were exactly where God needed us to be, and that what we did was enough. We planted seeds, and that’s all God asked of us. He asked us to plant seeds, and seeds take time and energy to grow. It’s unrealistic to expect an immediate harvest and that’s what I was doing in preparation for this trip.

So, with all of that being said, I would like all prospect trip participants to know that this trip (or really any trip) isn’t about making yourself feel accomplished. It’s not about taking the world upon your shoulders and being its savior. The glory isn’t for you. As children and servants of God, it is our job to do only what He asks of us. If He asks you to plant a seed, that doesn’t mean that you will be there to witness the harvest of that seed and that’s okay. God didn’t call you to share in the glory of your obedience. Your obedience is only for the Glory of God.