Sitting, chatting and enjoying ourselves poolside, I noticed by the look on her face that my friend Kristen was a little disturbed. She was staring at this western man who looked to be about the age of one of our dad's, playing around and swimming in the pool with a young khmer girl, who looked to be no older than 15. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I glanced over and assuredly stated, "I'm pretty sure they are father and daughter. Maybe she's adopted…" my voice trailed off. In my mind, I didn't want to believe otherwise…that this 6 ft western, gray haired man who could easily be mine or Kristen's father…was anything other than a father figure in this what seemed to be 15 yr old khmer girl's life.
"…..I really don't think that is her father," Kristen quietly replied. Just then, sure enough, we see the man now leaning up against the side of the pool and the young girl scooting closer into his arms. He then brushed his fingers through her hair and began rubbing her arm.
"Okay, yeah, definitely not father daughter," I said disgustingly as I turned away.
Silence fell between our giddy conversation.
And then the flood of emotions.
The battlefield of my mind, my flesh, my spirit.
Everything in my flesh points to anger, judgment, and condemnation. Everything in my flesh wants to blame the guy, as I'm screaming in my mind, "This is so sick and twisted. I can't watch, yet I want to keep an eye on this girl. What kind of sicko is he?! What is he thinking!? Why is he doing this? This is disgusting! She is a CHILD! How can I let this happen in front of my eyes and not do anything? (and then all of the social, ethical and cultural questions)But HOW can I help her? CAN I even help her? What does that even look like!? It's complex. I can't just "rescue" this girl from the pool, out of this "paedophile's" arms. Does ANYONE else notice this "couple"? What do the westerners think of this (the ones that notice)…what do the khmer think about this!?"
Everything in my spirit points to grace, love and peace. My spirit is allowing me to see this man the way that God sees this man. "He is broken, just like me. The grace that God extends to me, I need to extend to him. There are deeper issues as to why he feels the need to be with this Cambodian child. He is lost. He is empty. He needs love. Real love. The love of Jesus. He is human. Just like me. He is not a monster. He is fallen. And so am I. Lord, help me to continue to see him through Your eyes."
Several minutes of silence go by.
"I just wonder what she is thinking right now. Is she looking around at the people in the pool and the many sunbathers screaming in her mind for help, pleading for someone to notice her, notice her situation, help her…somehow rescue her!?"I rambled on.
"Or is she enjoying this beautiful scenery, the pool, the luxury of everything right now because this is so foreign to her?" Kristen asked.
"Possibly, yeah. But we both know that even if she is enjoying her time at the pool, I'm pretty sure she still feels trapped. She has to still hate the things that happen behind closed doors…" I replied.
"….I just can't help but wonder what is going through her mind right now," I said aloud as I watched them move from the pool to the Jacuzzi, more secluded from the public's eye.
Several hours pass by, as they move from the pool to the Jacuzzi, back to the pool, and then over to an area sharing a lounging chair and eventually disappearing into the beautiful hotel together arm in arm.
I wish I could say there was a happy ending to what we witnessed; that the man really ended up being this girl's father. Or that he instantly had a change of heart and took the girl back to where he picked her up from. Or that someone "rescued" this girl.
But unfortunately that's not the case. And unfortunately, this is only ONE in thousands of cases here in Cambodia. Depending on who you talk to, it is even considered a norm.
This isn't something that Kristen and I witnessed for the first time. This is our reality here in Cambodia. We are faced with and witness sexual exploitation on a daily basis. In public. In front of our very eyes. And not just with foreign, white men. The majority isn't even the western men.
The question remains: What do/can you do when you witness this stuff!?
After spending time living in Cambodia the past year and a half and specifically learning about the sex trade, I can tell you that it's definitely not as simple as busting down doors, "rescuing" the girl and being the hero of the day. "Rescuing" girls looks different in different situations. It is not always a matter of the police or detectives getting involved, busting down doors and doing a full on raid of a brothel. Brothels aren't even the only place girls are trapped or enslaved. They are one of many. There are SO many different forms of sexual exploitation here that involve so many complex "solutions" which require wisdom, discernment and high cultural understanding.
Seeing what I did yesterday between this man and khmer girl just reminded me that witnessing sexual exploitation before my very eyes for the 10th, 50th, 100th or thousandth time is still just as shocking, emotionally and spiritually provoking as witnessing it for the 1st time.
A reminder of the brokenness in this world. A reminder of my own brokenness.
A reminder of God's love and grace for His people.
And a reminder to extend that same grace and love to those broken around me, no matter what sin I see them caught in.
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